


Accidental

by Feneris



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidents, Community: snkkink, Corrupt Superiors, Fragging the Commander, Gen, Solutions to Corrupt Superiors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1256020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feneris/pseuds/Feneris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was no understatement to say that loosing Commander Erwin had been a devastating blow to the Scouting Legion. Erwin had been a brilliant strategist, a charismatic commander, and wholely dedicated to his troops and the cause of humanity. He may have been a ruthless bastard, but everyone could at least agree he wouldn't sacrifice his soldier's lives without a damn good reason.</p><p>To make matters worse, Erwin's replacement, a man by the name of Hector Jonestone, was everything he was not.</p><p>Thankfully, Eren, Armin and Mikasa have already devised a solution to that particular problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidental

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, you guessed it, yet another SnK kink meme fill. This prompt was basically as it says on the tin, Erwin dies, and the Legion gets assigned some corrupt inner city desk warmer. 
> 
> Well, I could just imagine the Legion knocking off said corrupt commander and subjecting themselves to a massive conspiracy of silence as to how it happened. (It was an accident ask anyone!)

It was no understatement to say that loosing Commander Erwin had been a devastating blow to the Scouting Legion. Erwin had been a brilliant strategist, a charismatic commander, and wholely dedicated to his troops and the cause of humanity. He may have been a ruthless bastard, but everyone could at least agree he wouldn't sacrifice his soldier's lives without a damn good reason.

To make matters worse, Erwin's replacement, a man by the name of Hector Jonestone, was everything he was not.

From the first day, it became rapidly apparent that the new Commander was what everyone in the Scouting Legion called a desk warmer. He wasn't concerned about regaining ground for humanity, about driving back the titans, or even making sure as many people got back from each mission alive. His goal was ultimately to make himself look good, and failing that, to embezzle enough money to retire early.

As far as anyone could tell, he seemed to spend all his time in his office, smoking expensive cigars and drinking equally expensive liquor, and occasionally playing cards with some of his old buddies in the Military Police. He was rude and condescending to all his subordinates, and was well known for shouting out crude comments to any female member of the legion who got within earshot of his office. (Something which made him enemies of both genders within the Legion.)

In fact, the only thing he could be credited with was bringing the Scouting Legion closer together and allowing them to former even tighter bonds of comradery. (This was because everyone in the Legion suddenly found themselves united in just how much they hated him.)

When Mike went into his office with a report on the Legion's finances, bearing the bad news that funds for the legion seemed to be mysteriously drying up and at the current rate they wouldn't be able properly supply the next expedition; he was given a shrug and was told that the next expedition would have to be delayed then.

That was when everyone knew that Commander Hector had to go.

A secret conspiracy between Levi, Hanji, and Mike began meeting in secret to discuss how they could get rid of their troublesome superior. Plan were made, plans were discarded, and the meetings had to be called off when their bickering reached a volume that threatened to wake the entire castle.

What they didn't realize was that greater minds than theirs had already found a solution to the problem.

It was a perfectly normal day, slightly overcast, with a hint of sunshine poking through the clouds. Commander Hector was returning to his office, after a hard morning of card games with his buddies. Levi, Hanji and Mike were waiting in the hallway for him.

Hector had just reached the top of the stairs, when Mikasa called him from the end of the hall.

"Sir!"

"What is it babe?" he leered turning towards the girl rushing towards him.

Without word or warning Mikasa delivered a flying kick straight to the chest. Hector pitched backwards down the stone stairs. Head over heels down at least two flights of hard, sharp flagstones.

Mikasa turned to the collection of stunned officers.

"Oops."

\---

Armin and Eren were waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Hector arrived in a bruised and bloody heap.

"Looks like the Commander took a tumble down the stairs," Armin deadpanned. "What a terrible accident. Do you think he survived?"

Hector took that moment to let out a groan, and tried groggily to push himself up. Eren immediately raised the pewter candlestick he just happened to have in his hand, and brought the heavy base down on the Commander's temples. Hector's eyes rolled back in his head, and he went still. Wordlessly Eren placed two fingers under his chin to check the pulse.

"Tragic," he said, in an equally deadpan voice. "Just tragic. If he hadn't hit his head on that candlestick he might still be alive."

"It's a shame," Armin agreed. The two of them nodded up the stairs to Mikasa, and the three of them walked off as if nothing had happened.

Levi, Mike and Hanji stared at the dead body in shock.

It was Levi who spoke first.

"Looks like the Commander had an accident," he said to no one in particular.

"Looks that way," Mike agreed.

"Tragic," Hanji nodded. "Just tragic. Who could have seen it coming?"

\---

Hector's successor, an old friend of his, would barely be a week in his new office before he was tragically killed by a horse kicking him in the head. (With spiked horseshoes.)

The woman who replaced him would herself suffer another tragic accident when she fell off the roof of the one of the towers and fell three stories onto a pile of carelessly discarded rusty blades.

Her replacement would end up committing suicide by stabbing himself in the back thirty seven times. (Something Hanji was quiet adamant could be the only explanation.)

The one after that, would find himself unable to postpone the next expedition and wound up being eaten by a titan. (With no extra effort on anyone else's part either.)

In time rumors began to spread among the Military Police that the Commander's post was cursed, and that the ghost of Erwin Smith kept knocking off anyone who tried to fill his place.

In the meantime, the senior officers were more than up to the task of keeping the Legion running. After all, the military bureaucracy would get the picture sooner of later.


End file.
